My Journey, Part II

I think it's time to start my journey, Part II. This time is a bit different. A lot bit different. It's a whole new story. Charlie has been my whole world in the last two years... well, frankly the last 10 years, but especially the last two years. Everything in my life has pretty much revolved around him. I have never felt so much joy in all my life. The scriptures talk about how great will be your joy, even more than your pain, and it really is true. So I have had this internal conflict going on. I know I want to have another baby... for two reasons. #1) Charlie needs a friend. I don't want him to be alone. #2) I don't feel like we're "done". So, I'm okay with trying again. I think this time around will be different because I already have Charlie. I haven't had any dreams or visions, I just have a desire to complete our family and make Charlie happier than he already is. So what is my conflict? Well I wanted to breastfeed Charlie till he was one. He's almost 10 months. It's two stupid months, I know he won't be upset about it later on in life, but I'm having a hard time giving it up. I think maybe I don't want him to grow up? I don't know... but the stars are starting to align, and I really think July is going to be the lucky month. And so I need to stop breastfeeding so that I can start my cycle and get ready to do In Vitro. The doctor said it usually takes about 2 months to start your cycle after breastfeeding, and he wants me to have a cycle for two months before the procedure, so that pretty much means I need to stop right now. We also have a big event that Brad and I are in charge of later this month that is a two day event, and so I think I need to just ween him starting now. It's not very fun though. I've absolutely enjoyed every minute of bonding with Charlie. And it's not like I'm not going to bond with him anymore, but it's just different. To be his lifeline, it does something to me. It makes me feel like he needs me as much as I need him. And it's a dream come true, literally. I love my Charlie more than words can express. But I just need to remind myself, that I'm having another one so he can have a friend, I'm doing this for him. And so... the Journey begins, Part II. Wish me luck!

Here are some pictures to sum up the whole story. In Vitro is absolutely worth it. I'm even considering doing it again if we have to here in a year or two. You're welcome to leave a comment if you have any questions about it.

Update

This morning I was finally able to feel my uterus above my pelvic bone. I've been anxious to feel that, it's the first physical proof that he's growing :) I'm feeling much better as far as morning sickness and all that. But my tailbone has been hurting daily. And I'm not able to stand or walk very long without feeling cramps. So I'm taking it easy and things are going well. Can't wait to feel him move!

Looking good

Everything is looking great! I saw the little guy moving and his heart beating today! Sooo happy, so relieved! He's grown a lot in the last two weeks! He actually looks like a baby instead of a blob now! I can't wait to feel him move!!! Thank you for all of your support and prayers!

Tomorrow's the day...

Tomorrow we go to my new doctor. I'm going to start out trying a Midwife. We have Kaiser, so they do the whole Midwife thing. That does not mean that I'm going natural. I know the midwife has that connotation to it, but that is definitely not the case. I'll make sure she's pro drugs and we'll all be happy. I'm hoping that we'll have another ultrasound and I can post some pictures, but I know we'll at least be able to hear the heartbeat. I'm so excited. It's been a few weeks since the last time, so I'm very anxious to make sure the little guy is growing and doing well. I can't wait. I think I'm going to close up the blog and continue on with my personal blog after tomorrow. So if you want me to add you to my personal blog, you're welcome to make a comment with your email address or you can find me on facebook and message me. Thanks for following my journey. I'm so grateful that it went so well. And I'm so grateful that I was able to help some other people with questions and similar situations. I'll post tomorrow and that will be my last one... I think :). Thanks guys!

We heard the heart beat!

Yes, you heard me right, there was only one. But nonetheless, I'm still grateful there was a heartbeat. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little bummed. But I'm trying to look at all the positive things of only having one: 1) NO STRETCHMARKS!!! 2) NO C-SECTION 3) NO MINIVAN 4) NO WHALE OF A TUMMY 5) IT'LL BE EASIER TO WORK THROUGH THE PREGNANCY AND AFTER 6) LESS CHANCE OF COMPLICATIONS 7) QUIETER HOUSEHOLD Okay, that's all I can think of, anyone else have any more?

Time

I don't think it's possible for time to slow down any more than it has. I feel like every minute is an hour! *Sigh* I'm so anxious to know if I'm having twins and how they're doing. Sooo hard to wait! Two more days...

4 Days Sooner WOO HOO!

Guess What?! I convinced the nurse to let me come get my Ultrasound 4 days EARLIER! Woo Hoo! So I'm scheduled for Thursday, 9/20 to go see my babies. I can't wait :)

Mind games

So I'm going to be totally honest. Maybe it's me, maybe most of those that have IVF do this, I don't know, but I will confess that I play scenarios out in my head and have doubts...

Example #1: what if the doctor didn't even put any embryos in me, he just pretended. OR the embryos got stuck in the tube thing, how does he KNOW that they went in me?

Example #2: what if they are lying about my blood test results and I'm not really pregnant?

Example #3: what if these symptoms are all in my head?

Logically I know these are silly doubts and thoughts, of course I'm pregnant and it's real, but sometimes it's hard to really believe something you've wanted for SO long that has finally happened is actually for real. You're kind of waiting for the "Just Kidding!"

I just had to put it out there. Thankfully I know the pee tests and fat belly and lack of a period are all solid proof :).

The verdict is in... Kind of...

Well I got my results back. So for the Infertlity world, I am 16 DPO and 11 DP5DT. My numbers came back at 470.5 for HCG Level. So I more than tripled!!! According to betabase.info the average number for this day for twins is 401! Sooo, it's not official but it's a very good possibility!

So now we wait for 2 1/2 weeks till the ultrasound on the 24th to confirm. That's okay with me, I'm tired of being poked!