I forgot to share a really cool story. I have been on this process of "finding my why" and I received a personal revelation that totally changed my paradigm. I've known for almost a year now that the real reason I'm not able to have more children is that the Lord has a different plan for me right now, I have some sort of task or "assignment" I need to complete right now that the Lord knows I couldn't if I was pregnant or had little ones. So in understanding that, and embracing that, the other night as I was saying a prayer, I had the thought... "Maybe the miracle I'm waiting for won't be in getting pregnant, maybe the miracle is that I haven't gotten pregnant in five years." And I know this is too personal, but I actually laughed out loud when I had this thought, coming from the Lord's point of view "And you haven't made it easy with the amount that you two make love." So my paradigm totally shifted when I realized that it is the Lord and his hand in what is happening in my life, and its a matter of trusting him, knowing that I really should be grateful that he's helping me become that person that he knows I need to become to have that ultimate happiness I'm looking for, and that I shouldn't see Brad or I as "broken", but that the Lord is working a miracle every month to prevent us from messing up the plan that he has for us. Pretty cool!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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Beautiful. I'm so glad you've come to that understanding. You're awesome!
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Oh, I love that! Just remember that even though you know it's "okay" to not be pregnant, and you know it's part of another plan -- it's still OKAY to be sad about it from time to time. That knowledge just helps us embrace the truth and be able to get through the rough days. I'm so glad you've had such a neat experience with this!
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