My Journey, Part II

I think it's time to start my journey, Part II. This time is a bit different. A lot bit different. It's a whole new story. Charlie has been my whole world in the last two years... well, frankly the last 10 years, but especially the last two years. Everything in my life has pretty much revolved around him. I have never felt so much joy in all my life. The scriptures talk about how great will be your joy, even more than your pain, and it really is true. So I have had this internal conflict going on. I know I want to have another baby... for two reasons. #1) Charlie needs a friend. I don't want him to be alone. #2) I don't feel like we're "done". So, I'm okay with trying again. I think this time around will be different because I already have Charlie. I haven't had any dreams or visions, I just have a desire to complete our family and make Charlie happier than he already is. So what is my conflict? Well I wanted to breastfeed Charlie till he was one. He's almost 10 months. It's two stupid months, I know he won't be upset about it later on in life, but I'm having a hard time giving it up. I think maybe I don't want him to grow up? I don't know... but the stars are starting to align, and I really think July is going to be the lucky month. And so I need to stop breastfeeding so that I can start my cycle and get ready to do In Vitro. The doctor said it usually takes about 2 months to start your cycle after breastfeeding, and he wants me to have a cycle for two months before the procedure, so that pretty much means I need to stop right now. We also have a big event that Brad and I are in charge of later this month that is a two day event, and so I think I need to just ween him starting now. It's not very fun though. I've absolutely enjoyed every minute of bonding with Charlie. And it's not like I'm not going to bond with him anymore, but it's just different. To be his lifeline, it does something to me. It makes me feel like he needs me as much as I need him. And it's a dream come true, literally. I love my Charlie more than words can express. But I just need to remind myself, that I'm having another one so he can have a friend, I'm doing this for him. And so... the Journey begins, Part II. Wish me luck!