Saturday, August 25, 2012

It all comes down to this...

I feel like its the last 10 seconds of the 4th quarter and the score is tied with the rival team. We have the ball and we're at the 10 yard line... And it all comes down to this last play. Will this be it? Will this work?

If it doesn't, there are no more plays left. This is it. So we hope, we pray, and we do everything right. And the rest we leave up to God. I can honestly say I've done all I can. I've taken every shot, swallowed every pill, eaten healthy, prayed diligently, read my scriptures every day... I can honestly say there is nothing I could have done better or harder. I've done it all. And so I put my trust in God that it's all up to him. After all, these children that come to earth are his. They are not ours. We are only stewards and tools in his hands to care for his children for however long we are blessed to do so.

I could easily say I'm a better Mom than many others in this world. I don't say that pridefully, its just a fact. But I'm positive that being a good Mom or parent is not what determines who gets blessed with babies and who doesn't. I wish it was.

I'm ready to accept my fate and the Lord's will. It's been quite a journey. Regardless of the outcome, I know that God lives, and that he loves me. And I accept his plan for me. Now let's go get this over with and find out the final score.

4 comments:

  1. I know a couple that tried IVF and found out she had a hostile uterus. I think they would be the best parents ever and I'm always shocked at the trouble some people have- it breaks my heart for them. children really are beautiful and you are a great mom :-)

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  2. good luck you guys! it's been so nice to be able to somewhat take part of this journey with you. thank you for sharing all of this with us.

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  3. Love you Angel! You are truly amazing (but I've know that for a LONG time). I'm praying for you.

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